6 Reasons Why I’m Tired of All-White Parties

Remind me why we are still doing all-white parties again? Because I think we reached that expiration date about 4 years ago. Can we at least agree to wrap this trend up fairly quickly going forward?

Here are my reasons for being totally over all-white parties:

1. The trend is getting boring

A few years ago (like 10), all-white parties were all the rage. If you didn’t attend at least 2 white parties during the summer, you were either not living, under a rock, or probably both. All-white affairs were chic, sexy, and fun, not to mention a unique way to showcase style. But that was soooo 10 years ago and now these parties are totally played. Here’s the thing about trends….they all die, and white parties are dying a slow and gruesome death. So can we pul-leaze harry this thang up?

2. Finding white is stressful

It always takes me forever to find something white and appropriate (see #3) to wear. It’s not a color you can easily get in just one day, it may take a while to find it. Chances are, you end up wearing something you really don’t want to wear just to fit in. I’ve started collecting white outfits throughout the year just so I won’t end up stressed at the last minute!

3. It’s hard to find an “appropriate” outfit

Finding a white party outfit is hard business. I either look churchy, or ratchet. There aren’t many in-between options available. And why is white fabric so thin? It’s totally unforgiving and most likely should be worn with a strong pair of Spanx. And fellas, I cringe at your all-white shoes. That’s usually a no for me.

4. Most likely, you’ll have an outfit twin

Last year I went to an all-white party and within minutes, I spotted my twin, in the exact same dress. (Although let’s be clear, I most certainly wore it better.) But I digress. In fact, as the night went on I spotted tons of people dodging and weaving their own twins. Although, it’s funny when you see outfit twins taking pics together because…what else can you do besides play it off and pose? Originality is out the window and everyone flocks to the same few stores. Want to avoid having an outfit twin? For starters, stay away from Amazon!

5. White gets dirty. Quickly.

Sure, everyone looks fabulous and handsome at the beginning of night. But add layers of heat, sweat, and dance floor residue to the ensemble and you have an all-white MESS. No hugs from ladies or else you’ll get their makeup rubbed off on you. Most likely you will see women doing air hugs where they barely touch to avoid this catastrophe. (Tip: brown foundation does not come out of your white clothes). And if there is food, I’m not eating. Actually, I may as well just stand in a corner all night, away from everything and everyone so I can stay clean!

6. I just don’t like rules

 

Yours Truly, Ms. Pettyton

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