Ladies, When Men Say You “Talk Too Much,” It’s Not An Insult. Own It!

I’ve often been told by men that I talk way too much, too fast, and add too many details. But to me, I’m just having a normal conversation. In fact, when my girlfriends and I communicate this way, the more information we add to a story the more we understand. We can expertly navigate complex conversations by managing overlapping chatter, finishing each other’s sentences, and weaving in and out of topics without ever missing a beat. All the ingredients of a good, productive conversation among girlfriends, if you ask me.

What I am about to delve into obviously doesn’t apply to all women, because we are all inherently different. But let’s look at some interesting data points.

There are a lot of studies that compare the way men and women communicate. It’s been said that women talk way more than men, using almost twice as many words in a given day due to the hard-wiring of our brains. In A Billion Wicked Thoughts, Neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam assert that women are more verbal, begin communicating at a younger age, spend more time dialoging and find talking to be more enjoyable than men.

If you were to examine the brains of men and women, the part of the frontal cortex that affects our language is larger in women. This variation causes our language centers to develop quicker and differently, which may manifest in us being the more vocal sex. The neuroscience pair site that teenage girls send and receive on average 80 texts a day, compared to the 30 teenage boys send and receive. Furthermore, they found that teenage girls make more phone calls and use social media more to communicate.

It’s no telling that men may classify us as unrelenting chatterboxes in every way possible. But all this so-called “excessive” talking isn’t a hindrance or problem at all. In fact, it makes us absolutely brilliant! I’ll explain why.

We Learn Through Talking and Sharing

If a guy were to eavesdrop on a conversation between my girlfriends and I, he may roll his eyes and quickly lose interest at the cacophony of chatter. But what we’ve got going on is far from pointless speech. Us women are natural multi-taskers. We have the innate ability to quickly consume tons of details, assess risks, draw conclusions and communicate thoughts and feelings back and forth very quickly.

For example, we can rapidly exchange information on fashion, parenting, diet, self-care, exercise and celebrity gossip….. sometimes all blurred in one combined conversation. Together we walk away with a collective wealth of new knowledge in a short period of time.

Women rely on each other to help us all become smarter and more informed based on each of our individual experiences and assessments. We all share our little tidbits of knowledge to compile and apply to all of our lives. Whether it be a personal conversation, a networking social over drinks, or a virtual discussion in a Facebook group, we often directly or indirectly solicit the opinions of other women on a variety of subjects.

For example, if I spend 15 minutes by the water-cooler with a group of girlfriends, I’m walking away with nothing less than 3 new Keto recipes, step by step instructions for a new co-washing technique, a tested and approved brand of matte lipstick, and 2 personal referrals to an OBGYN. Nothing less.

Talking Makes It Easier to Ask For Help

Because my girlfriends and I are so used to talking and sharing everything under the sun, it’s not surprising that asking for help would just be a natural extension of our communication habits. While many men may grieve alone and keep things bottled up, not wanting to cry to their male friends about the ups and downs of their day, us lady “motormouths” are more likely to call on our female lifelines from sun up to sun down.

From asking for help to a small problems, to nursing each other through heartache and breakups….we are more likely to come together for it all and have all the treatments at the ready. Because we are used to the constant exchange of information, we are able to quickly survey emotions, assess the need and tap into/deliver immediate comfort. It gives us an up to heal faster and offload burdens onto the group. Heavy things are easier when they are carried by more than one person. On the contrary, I’ve literally heard men broach complex personal problems with a simple “fam, you good?” reply: *head-nod*

Talking Helps Us Detect Issues and Problem-Solve

We are N A T U R A L detectives. Do you hear me? In fact, once we get to talking, women can solve complex cases faster than a New York DA. Quickly communicating in woman-code, we use our feminine brain power to intake an abundance of details, custom sort them in organized columns, apply graphs and pie charts, bullet-point our summaries and report out. All you need is a group of motivated, talkative women and a cluster of circumstantial evidence and I guarantee, cases are being solved at rates that will make Mueller envious. I have personally witnessed FBI-ish cases broken within mere minutes.

Final Thoughts…

Back to my original point, if women talk “too much,” then I’m glad to have that gift. It allows us to learn, network, analyze, empathize and problem-solve. In other words, it makes us brilliant! So now that I’ve gone on and on and on and most likely lost most men after this wordy dissertation, I leave my ladies with one final thought:

The next time a man tells you that you talk TOO MUCH, tell him “thank you!”

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